Listening leadership

In the podcast Konsten att lyssna (The Art of Listening, episode 63), leadership researcher Simon Elvnäs describes three recurring thoughts he hears from leaders.

• How clear do I have to be?
• How hard can it be to understand?
• I don't understand how my team thinks.

These questions are common in many organisations and often point to something missing in the way we listen. When we take the time to pause and be curious about what others are carrying, both challenges and ideas, something happens. We gain access to more perspectives, make better decisions and build stronger relationships. People also thrive when they feel listened to.

When we fall into the PIT of listening

A common mistake we make, as leaders and as human beings, is to fall into the PIT, the pitfall of listening.

• P stands for Prejudge
• I stands for Interrupt
• T stands for Try to fix

Prejudge. We evaluate what is being said before we have really understood it.

Interrupt. We jump in, take over the conversation or start forming our own reply before the other person has finished. We cut off their thought and their process.

Try to fix. We go straight to solutions, our solutions, without first understanding the problem and without giving the other person the chance to find their own.

When this happens, the very point of a conversation disappears. The chance to think together.

How do you create psychological safety in an organisation?

During a management meeting, the company's way forward was presented. The CEO and the CFO had worked out the new strategy behind closed doors. At the meeting it was presented as a proposal, but the rest of the group was invited in with the words: “You agree, don't you?”

The newly hired head of analysis raised her hand and asked whether it might be exactly the other way around. After the meeting the CEO took her aside and said it was not good if it looked as though the analysis department did not support the strategy. She was not invited to any more management meetings. The others in the group noticed, and drew their own conclusions.

Psychological safety was missing in the group. People who thought differently were not welcome, or at least were not supposed to make their voices heard.

Google's Project Aristotle set out to understand what makes teams effective. One of its key findings echoed the research of Harvard professor Amy Edmondson: psychological safety matters. People felt able to speak up.

Journalist Charles Duhigg, who was the first to report on the study, highlighted two behaviours as particularly important:

• We take turns speaking and make sure everyone is heard.
• We clearly show that we are listening to the person speaking.

Both are fundamentally about listening. When I work with leaders, the same effects keep appearing when listening improves in the organisation:

• More perspectives come forward.
• Better decisions are made.
• People contribute more actively.
• Trust in the group deepens.

Listening is a business issue

Caroline Farberger puts it like this in the podcast Konsten att lyssna (episode 60):

So my insight was that listening to each other and being inclusive in the meeting culture is not about being nice to each other or ticking some sustainability box. It is a hardcore business issue. Because if we don't listen to each other and build on each other's competence in an organisation, we will not survive the competition.

How do you become a listening leader?

Three simple principles can make a big difference:

Take time to listen. Slow down the pace of conversations. Good listening takes time.

Ask questions and listen to the answers. The aim is not to reply quickly but to understand.

Keep in mind that you might be wrong. Curiosity and openness are the foundation of real listening.

When listening improves, organisations change

When people feel listened to, they dare to contribute more. Trust grows. Decisions become wiser.

Listening is therefore not just a soft skill. It is a strategic leadership skill.